This talk analyzes the insidious cycle of publicly reporting harassment in tech: Someone speaks out about their experienced harassment, and two main groups form: the group that is just plain shocked that this kind of harassment can happen, and the denial group, that is certain that there's no way this is a regular occurrence in tech. We'll go over a few hypothetical and real-world case studies, and possible ways to re-direct the conversation to more helpful stages, where listeners will receive info on how to help, and how they might be unconsciously contributing to harassment.